sehun trash (exollent) wrote in runandgun,
sehun trash

el dorado, for snow_wood

Title: El Dorado
For: snow_wood
Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol/Kyungsoo
Rating: NC-17 (warning: character death, suicide)
Length: 7000
Summary: El Dorado is a place for second chances. Loosely based on the film Wristcutters: A Love Story.

so please, wait
don't let this line go slack
i want to bring you back
to where i know you

-transcontinental, 1:30 a.m; vienna teng

And then the air rushes back into his lungs and Kyungsoo can breathe again.

"So how did you get in?"

There's a single shot glass sitting in front of him, filled to the brim with some non-distinct brown liquid. He downs it without hesitation, the drink forging a burning path down his throat. Kyungsoo coughs as it goes down. Feels as though he has been punched in the face.

"What is this," he asks, frowning as he peers inside the glass.

"I call it a Welcome Party. My own recipe." Standing on the other side of the bar is a man dressed in white with a threadbare towel flung carelessly over his shoulder. His grin is shark-like. It only serves to accentuate his sharp cheekbones. "Feels like a slap to the face, doesn't it?"

"More like a punch," Kyungsoo mutters, squeezing his eyes shut as he shakes his head.

The man laughs and introduces himself as Jongdae. "A little bit of capsaicin goes a long way," he says, nodding toward Kyungsoo's empty shot glass. "Need another?"

Kyungsoo turns down the offer and requests a beer instead.

Jongdae leaves him with a bottle dripping with condensation and a small bowl of peanuts before moving to tend to someone else just appearing three seats down from him. If Kyungsoo looks closely, he can see the girl's face tinged blue. It fades quickly but the reddened imprint of a rope around her neck does not. Kyungsoo averts his eyes before she catches him staring.

He takes a cursory glance of the rest of the bar. It's a small place with only a few tables. The decor is low-key and kind of rustic. Pictures and figurines of New York's Statue of Liberty hang everywhere. A pool table and darts board are tucked into the corner with an old-fashioned jukebox. Most patrons seem to flock there.

"So," says Jongdae, voice low in Kyungsoo's ear, making him startle with a jolt. Kyungsoo spins around to glare, but Jongdae only sticks out his tongue as he chuckles with glee. "Tell me," he says from a distance this time, "what landed you here?"

"Anxiety pills," Kyungsoo answers automatically.

Jongdae snorts. "I know that, but that's not why you're here, that's just what you did. I can tell just by looking at you."

Kyungsoo frowns at himself. He peers at his reflection in his half-empty beer bottle, but notices nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe a bit more exhaustion showing than the last time he'd gotten a good look at himself, bags beneath his eyes deeper and darker than the last remembers. But then he'd broken all the mirrors in his apartment in a fit of rage a few months ago. Had never gotten around to fixing them. Didn't matter much now.

"It's not obvious like Krystal over there." They both turn to look at the girl Kyungsoo had been watching earlier. She'd migrated to the corner like most everyone else, dragged another girl over - platinum blonde with a short, boy-ish haircut - and started grinding to Guns 'n' Roses. Blondie had a trail of dried blood along the side of her head and moved with a limp.

"Amber drove her car into a guard rail and rolled into a ditch. Miraculously only hurt her leg. Hit her head a bit hard, though. Looks like those two have taken a liking a to each other."

Jongdae cocks his head to the side and points to a man taking bets at the pool table. He looks to be not much older than Kyungsoo himself. "That's Kibum. Got here about an hour or so before you. He poisoned himself. You can't tell, but I can."

"How?" Kyungsoo asks. His eyes focus on the boy with sandy brown extensions standing beside Kyungsoo, placing bets on a pretty Chinese boy waiting to break. There seems to be nothing unusual about either of them except that they looks extremely sad, just like everyone else.

"Taemin cut himself and bled to death, and Lu Han drowned himself in a bathtub. It's my job to know these kinds of things, but it's more than that, you know? Had a Serbian guy in the other day trying to escape the government. Some girl following her boyfriend. Some people have accidents. These are parts that I don't know."

Kyungsoo sighs and spins around slowly in his seat. Jongdae mimics him as he props his arms up against the bar and holds his chin in his palm.

"Then how did you get here?" Kyungsoo asks, letting his eyes rove over his face, though he finds no imperfections at all.

Jongdae stares at Kyungsoo as if he's dumb. Well, Kyungsoo thinks to himself, he was never anything great. "I'm the owner, obviously."

"Yeah, but..." Kyungsoo makes a vague gesture with his hands just as someone appears on the next seat. He watches Jongdae mix drinks with a masterful hand. "No story or anything?"

"I've always been here. Part of the PIC."


"People in charge."

A girl sidles up beside Kyungsoo with a waitress pad in hand. Like Jongdae, she's dressed in white. White shirt, white skirt, white apron. Jongdae frowns at her. "Don't interrupt me, Tiffany."

She sticks her tongue out at him and hands over the top sheet off the pad. "Order up."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm busy," Jongdae grumbles, ducking underneath the counter to grab bottles and flasks.

Tiffany grins and leans over the bar to press a kiss to his cheek before running off to the jukebox, switching out Guns 'n' Roses for Cyndi Lauper. She grabs the hand of the pretty pool player and they both laugh as they waltz around the bar.

"So how did she get here," Kyungsoo asks.

Jongdae keeps his head down as he fills orders, but Kyungsoo doesn't miss the way he rolls his eyes at him. "Come now, Tiffany works here."

Kyungsoo feels confused. "I'm confused."

Jongdae leans in closer over the bar. A playful grin forms over his face.

"What would you do if I told you that you're not dead. At least not yet," he says.

Kyungsoo blinks. Twice. It doesn't sinking in. "That...makes no sense. I think I'd be in a hospital if I wasn't."

"Welcome to El Dorado." Jongdae spreads his arms in a wide gesture, eyes fixed on the dusty windows lining the walls. Kyungsoo follows his gaze and looks outside to see...nothing. It's like a ghost town. "Do you know what ‘el dorado' means?"

Kyungsoo shakes his head. "No."

"Me neither. The thing about this place is it's kind of like limbo for people who have, you know, offed themselves."

"In other words, second chances."

It's Tiffany that speaks again this time as she returns to the bar, doe-eyed pretty boy in tow. She grabs a pink martini off the bar and downs it in one go, earning a yelp of protest from Jongdae, then turns and smiles to her boy. "Lu Han wants a beer."

"Don't do that," Jongdae snaps.

"I'm bringing you customers," Tiffany snaps back.

"I'll take a beer," says Lu Han. "What about second chances?"

Tiffany brushes his hair away from his forehead and smiles gently at him. "Around here you get to choose whether you want to move on or whether you want to hang onto that tiny bit of life. To go back and try again. To make things better a second time around."

Lu Han wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. "I wouldn't. I think I'd move on." Jongdae slides his beer across the counter, and Lu Han takes it, muttering a small ‘thanks' before returning to the pool table. He turns to Kyungsoo.

"So what about you?"

Kyungsoo scoffs and takes a sip of his beer. He let it sit for too long. It has lost its fizz. "What's the point? I'm here because...I didn't want to be there, aren't I?"

"Well, then the decision has been made for you, hasn't it," says Jongdae. "Look, I don't make the decisions for how this place works. I just work for the people who do."

At the far end of the bar, a young man appears, gasping and shivering and dripping wet from head to toe. Jongdae sighs as if it isn't the first time this has happened and disappears into a small pantry, returning with a fluffy white towel. In passing, he gives Kyungsoo a pointed look.

"Just think about it, Do Kyungsoo."

Do Kyungsoo does not think about it. He doesn't think about anything. Instead, he rents out a room at the inn behind the bar for the night. It's the most restful sleep he has had in a very long time.

There's a car parked outside his room. Literally outside his room, pulled up over the curb. Kyungsoo looks around, but there is no one else around. There are also no other cars in the parking lot.

He groans and he starts to push. The car budges the slightest distance after quite a bit of effort, but not by much, so he gives up.

With a sigh, Kyungsoo walks up to the window and peers through it, cupping his hands over his eyes. He sees leather seats, a wood-trimmed dashboard, orange pine air freshener, and keys in the ignition. When he looks back, there's the boy from the bar, no longer dripping wet, staring back from the other side of the car.

"I need a ride," he says, and Kyungsoo thinks he looks really sad when he says that.

"Where to?"

A shrug.

"Okay," says Kyungsoo.

Byun Baekhyun jumped off a bridge and into the Han River precisely two hours after Kyungsoo lost consciousness, but he doesn't say more than that.

Instead sings along loudly to every song on the radio.

He rests his head in Kyungsoo's lap while he sticks his feet out the window.

Baekhyun also looks extremely lonely, and that just clicks with Kyungsoo. It might explain why he finds himself unable to say no to any of his demands.

"Hey, can we stop at a gas station?"

Kyungsoo shoots him a quizzical look, but Baekhyun isn't looking at him. He's staring wistfully out the window with a sort of lost puppy dog look in his eyes. Kyungsoo lets out a small sigh, but nods anyway.


A couple miles later, Kyungsoo blinks and a gas station appears on the side of the road. Peculiar, he thinks, pulling off the road and up to a gas pump. Without a word, Baekhyun scrambles out of the car and hurries into the convenience store.

Signs everywhere are telling him MINIMUM SERVICE, but Kyungsoo sees no attendants. "Oh, well," he mutters to himself, reaching out for the pump himself instead.

Kyungsoo sits on the hood of the car, kicking his legs back and forth, as he waits for both the tank to fill and for Baekhyun to return. He peers at the dusty road. It had been eerily empty the entire time they'd been driving.

"It's because most people are scared."

Kyungsoo whirls around and lets out an embarrassingly high-pitched yelp, arms flailing as he hits the ground with a groan. His arms and palms sting as he pushes himself up to sit, dirt and gravel scraping his skin. "Why do you people always do that," Kyungsoo mutters, eyeing the man offering him a hand. He's small and round-faced, but built underneath the white coveralls, Kyungsoo realizes as he's pulled to his feet. There's a badge on his suit with the name 'Minseok' embroidered in cursive.

"I wasn't thinking out loud, was I?" Kyungsoo asks.

Minseok laughs. "No, I can just tell what you're thinking. Most people seem to wonder the same thing. Why is this place so empty, right? Hey, scoot over."

Kyungsoo moves over to make room for him to sit. Minseok hops up onto the hood alongside him and leans back on his arms to stare out at the road. "Anyway, back to what I was saying. Most people, after they get here, just stick to the bar. Drink themselves into oblivion. Humans are just like that, you know. Get comfortable, get settled in one spot, and you don't want to move. The unknown is daunting. Uncertainty is what frightens people. But I see that you're one of the adventurous types, good on you!"

Minseok gives him a hearty pat on the back, and Kyungsoo flinches. "I'm not really," he says, brushing the hand off his back. "The car was just there and then...I don't know. It felt like mine. It didn't feel adventurous."

"No matter. You're here, aren't you?" Minseok slides off the hood and grins. "That will be $60."

"What?" Kyungsoo spins around to look at the meter on the pump and clucks his tongue in annoyance. "Why is the gas here so expensive?" He pulls out a few bills from his wallet and hands it to Minseok.

Minseok flips through the bills quickly. "No tip? So cheap."

"You weren't even here! I had to do this myself."

"Nature calls," he chuckles, pocketing the money. "Have a nice stay here, Do Kyungsoo. Tell Byun Baekhyun the same for me too, will you?" He gives Kyungsoo one last pat on the shoulder and then walks off, raising a hand as he goes.

Kyungsoo is left wondering how everyone in this place seems to know his name.

Baekhyun returns moments later, jogging up to the car, waving what looks like a brochure in the air. "I bought a map," he says, excited, unfolding it on top of the car. "There was a man in, Yixing? He said there are a lot of people at the beach and that we should reach there if we keep driving east-ish." Baekhyun points to a portion of the map, which Kyungsoo only vaguely registers as a body of water, but his eyes are fixated on Baekhyun's fingers, thin and delicate as they slowly drag across the map, tracing the lines of highways like he's dancing over them. "So can we go? I'd like to reach there before our time is up."

Kyungsoo looks up, startled out of his thoughts by the hand on his back. How peculiar, he thinks, that the touch is cold, like death, yet he feels warmth spread throughout his body, down his spine and along his nerves. His shoulders shift as he turns to catch Baekhyun's eye. Baekhyun quickly removes his hand. Kyungsoo frowns slightly at the loss of the warmth, but the disappointment is fleeting and decides to forget about it, instead nodding in answer to Baekhyun. "Uh, yeah. Let's go."

"I'm really bored," says Baekhyun, heaving a huge sigh for what seems like the millionth time since they started driving again. He stares despairingly out the window. "And I don't like it here. This entire place is hot as hell."

Kyungsoo finds himself losing control of the wheels as he's shoved to the side by Baekhyun's body clambers between the seats to the back. "Hey, careful," he cries, grabbing the wheel and steadying the car. Not that it would have mattered if he had let it go. The roads were still empty and there was nothing but a flat, dry expanse of land on either side of the highway, mountains lining the horizon miles away.

Baekhyun squirms around in his seat in his attempt to pull his sweatshirt over his head, dragging his thin t-shirt along with it. It bunches up under his arms, and he leaves it like that, letting the sweat and dampness on his body cool as he sprawls himself across the entire backseat. Hastily, he kicks his shoes off and lets his feet dangle out the window.

Kyungsoo can't help but to watch him through the rearview mirror. Can't help but to stare at the small marks, moles and birthmarks dotted all across his body. Can't help but to let his eyes drag down his legs, lingering for a few extra moments on the tight pants hugging his thighs. Can't help but to watch his chest move up and down, timing his own breaths to match.

And when Baekhyun peels off his shirt the rest of the way to wipe at his sweat, Kyungsoo feels his throat go dry and his breath get caught. He forces his eyes back on the road, not daring to let them leave the asphalt, but in the back of his mind he thinks, fuck.

The next night, a motel appears when Kyungsoo eyes start to droop. He books a room with two beds, collapsing face-first into the one nearest to the door.

"I'll be right back," Baekhyun says quietly, tip-toeing out the door and shutting it slowly so that it doesn't make too much noise.

Kyungsoo likes Baekhyun. Aside from the fact that he finds him utterly attractive, it's the way the boy has managed to shove himself into his life (or whatever this is) in the span of a couple of day. It has been a while since he has ever really been close to anyone, and yet Kyungsoo already feels attached.

But he has to wonder whether it's because of the utter desolation surrounding him that has forced him to latch onto Baekhyun. He doesn't ever remember craving human contact this much before in his life.

Turning his head to the side, Kyungsoo blearily observes the rest of the room. Everything is colored a little bit grey like there are constantly clouds cast over everything. It's depressing.

He thinks he agrees with Baekhyun. He doesn't like this place very much either.

Kyungsoo's eyes fly open when he hears the door click. Baekhyun walks into the room with a six-pack of beer in hand.

"Where did you get that?" Kyungsoo asks, sitting up suddenly.

"The trunk of the car," Baekhyun replies almost matter-of-factly. He sets the pack on the nightstand and flops backwards onto his bed.

"What- We just had beer in the trunk of our car?"

Baekhyun scoffs and rolls his eyes. "No, stupid, I put it there. Bought it while you were at the bathroom in the last gas station."

Kyungsoo thought back to earlier that day. Baekhyun's smile had looked especially mischievous when he'd gotten back from the restaurant. He would've questioned it, only Baekhyun has started blurting out the lyrics to old Motown songs, and he hadn't the heart to interrupt because he couldn't get enough of that voice.

"Were you planning to keep them for yourself or something?" Kyungsoo reaches out for a can, and Baekhyun hands him one. He opens it, and it barely fizzes. "This is flat and warm. You really should've told me before. I could've gotten us a cooler with ice-"

Baekhyun pushes the can up to Kyungsoo's mouth. "Just shut up and get wasted."

Well, then.

Kyungsoo is gone after three drinks. Baekhyun is gone after one.

He crawls over to Kyungsoo's bed, beer sloshing over onto the ugly quilt comforter. Kyungsoo makes a noise of disapproval in the back of his throat. He uses the sleeve of his discarded sweater to mop up the mess. "I have to sleep here," he mutters.

Baekhyun shoves his arm away and pillows his head on Kyungsoo's lap. He tries to take a sip of his drink like that, but only results in it spilling down his shirt. Kyungsoo clucks his tongue. Baekhyun giggles. "Oops." He sits up, shoving his beer can at Kyungsoo, and tugs his shirt over his head, dropping it over the side of the bed. He leans his head against Kyungsoo's legs once again, sighing blissfully. "Your lap is so soft."

Baekhyun's head presses back against Kyungsoo's crotch as he turns his face toward Kyungsoo's stomach. Kyungsoo's breath hitches at the heat that burns right through his clothes, and he can feel his pants get tighter. "Everything about you is soft," he whispers against Kyungsoo's stomach.

Kyungsoo takes a shaky breath and sets his can down onto the nightstand as carefully as he can. "Baekhyun..." His voice trails off as Baekhyun grabs his hand.

"Even your hand is so soft." Baekhyun massages his palm for a bit, revelling in the softness before bringing it down to rest on his belly. Kyungsoo's fingers curl, impulsively, against his skin, stroking it just the slightest bit.

"You know," Baekhyun murmurs, nuzzling closer, "I was so lonely before coming here, but I'm glad you're here now. I'm glad you're here with me. I really like you, Kyungsoo." And Baekhyun's breath is so warm against Kyungsoo's belly. He tries to shift down, attempting to hide his erection, but then Baekhyun turns his body further around, and then he's breathing against Kyungsoo's thigh. "I really, really like you."

"Baekhyun," Kyungsoo repeats, and this time his voice is more strained, erection more obvious.

"Please," Baekhyun whines, rutting against the mattress now. "Can I?"

"Yes," Kyungsoo hisses, swooping down to meet Baekhyun's lips in a kiss.

It's a bit awkward with Baekhyun trying to lick into his mouth while his head is turned o the side, so he shoves Kyungsoo's face away roughly, muttering, "wait." He climbs into Kyungsoo's lap and forces a knee in between his thighs. Kyungsoo's head hits the wall behind him as he groans. Baekhyun drags his mouth up Kyungsoo's jaw, leaving open-mouthed kisses along the way. "I've wanted to do this since the moment I saw you," he whispers into his ear. "You looked so sad and beautiful."

Baekhyun reaches for the button on Kyungsoo's jeans and shoves them as far down as they can go. He slips his hand underneath the waistband of Kyungsoo's boxers and wraps his hand around his cock tightly. Kyungsoo lets out another groan, louder this time, and arches his back.

"So beautiful," Baekhyun chants against his neck.

Kyungsoo doesn't respond to say he doesn't quite agree. Instead, he works on hastily unbuttoning his shirt, shrugging it off his shoulders and letting it fall to where Baekhyun's own has been abandoned. He drags Baekhyun closer until he can feels his bare chest against his own, skin burning hot and slick with sweat. He wants nothing more than to run his hands along Baekhyun's body. To trace his veins with his tongue and connect the moles and freckles with his lips.

With some effort and will power, Kyungsoo manages to pull Baekhyun's hand out of his pants. He shimmies out from underneath him and onto the floor. Baekhyun turns around to give him a confused look, but when he sees Kyungsoo stepping out of his pants, he hurries to follow suit.

His pants are so tight, they're like a second skin, and he curses himself for choosing to wear these when he jumped.

A hand closes around Baekhyun's, and he glances up. Kyungsoo climbs back onto the bed and kisses him roughly, tugging his pants off the rest of the way. He take a hold of Baekhyun's cock and strokes him slowly from base to tip, smearing the precome with his thumb.

Baekhyun moans and bites down on Kyungsoo's bottom lip, hips bucking up into the warm grip surrounding him. "Fuck me," he whispers, bringing Kyungsoo's free hand around to his ass.

Kyungsoo nods and pulls him even closer, rolling his hips a couple of times before laying Baekhyun gently on the bed.

He climbs off the bed once again and looks around the room, slightly disoriented. "Lube," Kyungsoo says to himself. He's answered by a loud moan, and by the time he whirls around, nearly falling on his face in the process, Baekhyun has got two fingers covered in the hotel hand lotion from the side table already inside himself.

Kyungsoo makes an odd gurgling noise as his eyes are drawn to the movement in between Baekhyun's legs. He watches Baekhyun's fingers disappear further inside his body.

"Lie down on the bed," Baekhyun says with a trembling voice. Kyungsoo scrambles to follow his instructions because, after all, he could never say no to him.

When Baekhyun finally sinks down on his cock, Kyungsoo gasps, hand flying up to grip his hips. And nothing has changed. He's still feels freezing cold to the touch, yet he has never felt heat like this before.

Kyungsoo lets Baekhyun ride him on his own, rising up and sinking down at his own pace. He makes his own contribution in the form of fingers wrapped around his cock, working swiftly to get him off. Baekhyun comes quickly, a hand over his mouth to muffle his shout. Kyungsoo flips them both over and pushes into him almost frantically until, finally, he pulls out and spills across Baekhyun's chest with a sigh.

A convenience store appears the next morning. They grab lube and condoms without paying, and then fuck in the backseat of the car.

They fuck in the bathroom of a rest stop.

They fuck outside underneath the stars because there's no one around to see them.

Kyungsoo finds himself more reckless about driving now, leaning over the console to kiss Baekhyun, letting him blow him while he drives.

He's got his face buried in Baekhyun's neck, licking and biting and creating bruises against his skin. "Kyungsoo," Baekhyun sighs, leaning his head to the side to expose more of his neck. It hadn't taken Kyungsoo long to find out how much Baekhyun liked being bitten. He takes one hand off the steering wheels and palms Baekhyun's cock through his pants. Baekhyun says his name louder this time, and Kyungsoo just smirks against his neck, but then he says it louder once more, and he's screaming in his ear. "Kyungsoo, watch out before you-"

Kyungsoo slams his foot on the brakes, and the wheels screech against the asphalt. The car stops just feet away from a tall boy standing in the middle of the road. When he's sure his heart won't burst out of his chest, Kyungsoo peers out the window to get a good look at the boy. He's tall, much taller than either Baekhyun or Kyungsoo. His hair is dyed an almost dusty orange color and full of messy curls. But the most peculiar thing of all about him is the way he smiles, mouth seeming to stretch as wide as it can go and one eye squinting more than the other.

"Hey," the boy says, and his voice is deep. He walks up to the passenger side where Baekhyun sits and leans down to grin at them both. "You guys heading to the beach?"

Kyungsoo opens his mouth to answer, but Baekhyun beats him to it. "Yeah, we are! You need a ride?"

The tall boy nods and, without a word, climbs into the backseat.

"Hi," Baekhyun says, unbuckling his seatbelt to turn eagerly in his seat and observe their new passenger, and Kyungsoo has stop himself from scolding him for not sitting correctly. "My name is Baekhyun, and this is Kyungsoo. What's your name?"

"Hi, Baekhyun. My name is Park Chanyeol."

Kyungsoo doesn't like Chanyeol. He decides this the moment Baekhyun climbs into back to sit with him. It's confirmed when they both start screeching along to the radio, Baekhyun using Chanyeol's lap to rest against. He doesn't stick his feet out the window. He just curls up into a ball and cuddles.

"How did you do it," Baekhyun asks Chanyeol. "How did you get here?"

Chanyeol's smile doesn't falter at all, and that bothers Kyungsoo. "Jumped off a bridge. Drowned myself."

"Oh," Baekhyun gasps, turning his head to look at Chanyeol. "Me too."

Kyungsoo can see the hearts in his eyes, and he almost feels sick.

"I'm tired," Kyungsoo declares loudly. "Let's stop for the night."

But nothing happens.

"Hey, how about we get a tent? We can camp out. Come on, it will be fun."

Baekhyun claps his hands and agrees enthusiastically. A shop appears a mile away. Kyungsoo wants to scream.

Kyungsoo refuses to sleep in the tent.

"Are you sure," Baekhyun asks, looking concerned. He instinctively reaches out for Kyungsoo's hand, but Kyungsoo pulls it out of his grip as if he has been burned. Baekhyun's eyes widen a bit at the reaction, and he bites his lip. Chanyeol's hand on Baekhyun's shoulder squeezes reassuringly. Kyungsoo closes his eyes and turns away.

"Yeah, I just," he sighs, pressing his fingers to his temples. "My head hurts. I think I'd feel better inside."

"Oh," Baekhyun says, releasing his lip from in between his teeth. "Feel better, Kyungsoo." He hesitates a bit before leaning in to press a soft kiss to Kyungsoo's cheek.

Kyungsoo doesn't really feel like sleeping, but he forces himself. He wakes up an hour later with a real headache to soft grunts and moans coming in through the open window and Baekhyun crooning, "You're so beautiful," over and over again.

"El Dorado Beach, woo!"

Kyungsoo cringes at the volume of Chanyeol's voice ringing in his ears. They haven't even gotten out of the car yet.

The rest of the vehicles in the parking lot seem to be parked haphazardly, as if their owners no longer cared for them. Kyungsoo does the same. Both Baekhyun and Chanyeol scramble out the door as soon as he presses the brake, whooping and hollering as they sprint toward the water. Kyungsoo feels a pang in his chest as he watches Baekhyun's back move further and further away. They hadn't touched once since Chanyeol had joined them. He had known Baekhyun first, Kyungsoo thinks, although he feels a bit silly for it. He feels a bit silly for getting jealous at the way Chanyeol had managed to reach a point it had taken Kyungsoo days to reach in just a matter of hours, but he couldn't help it.

He had been so unbearably lonely before he had arrived at El Dorado, so unbearably lonely before he had decided to swallow half that bottle. And now he was finally able to get close to someone only to have it torn away from him. Kyungsoo just couldn't help it.

Finally he decides to get out of the car and slowly make his way down the pier. He sighs when he reaches the end, folding his arms over the wooden railing and resting his head on top of them. The beach is ugly. The sand is grey and littered with cigarette butts and the skeletons of dead fish. The colors are dull just like the rest of this goddamn place.

There's a party going on down there. Kyungsoo doesn't know how he manages to spot Baekhyun and Chanyeol in the middle of a crowd of lip-locked couples, but he does. And he frowns.

"Hey," someone says behind him. Kyungsoo gasps, bringing a hand to chest to calm his startled heart. There's a man, tall and blonde and dressed in white, who passes him a drink in a red plastic cup. "The name's Wu Fan. I already know you. How was your trip?"

Kyungsoo takes the cup and glances at the colorful drink inside. He hopes it has got alcohol in it because he sure could use it right about now.

"Exhausting," Kyungsoo replies with a great heaving sigh, running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, you look like it. Heartbroken too."

Kyungsoo laughs, but there is no humor in it. He sloshes the drink around in the cup a bit. "What is this?"

"Just something to calm you down," says Wu Fan. "Try it."

Kyungsoo tilts his head back and pours it into his mouth. Already, he can feel all his energy leave him with that one sip. If he could slump down right there on the decaying wood and fall asleep forever, he would. Instead, he slumps against the railing. The cup drops from his hand to join the litter on the sand.

A firm arm wraps around his shoulders and starts to lead him away from the dock. "It's alright, you're here now. All you need to do it wait. Just sleep. I've got a room ready for you. I'll let your friends know where to find you."

Kyungsoo avoids Baekhyun and Chanyeol for three days, opting to spend time with Wu Fan who owned the villa, and Joonmyun who worked for him.

Baekhyun corners him in the bathroom on the fourth day, pressing him against the sink and kissing him hard. Kyungsoo's hands are still wet, but they come up to bury themselves in Baekhyun's hair. "I missed you," Baekhyun says into his mouth, and Kyungsoo takes the opportunity to slip his tongue inside his mouth. Yes, he missed him too, he thinks as Baekhyun's fingers slip underneath his shirt. He missed the way Baekhyun caressed his skin, missed the noises Baekhyun made as he tugged at his hair, missed the taste of his mouth. Baekhyun breaks the kiss, a line of saliva connecting them as he pulls further away. "Chanyeol missed you too."

And Baekhyun doesn't see the frustrated look on Kyungsoo's face because he's already pulling them toward his and Chanyeol's shared room in the suite.

Chanyeol is lies naked and sprawled out across the bed, eyes screwed shut with a hand around his cock. Kyungsoo freezes in his tracks, unable to tear his gaze from his body. Long and lean and thin limbs which seem to stretch for mile. "Wh-what," he mutters, voice barely audible, but Chanyeol catches it and his eyes fly open to meet his.

"Come here," Chanyeol says, his voice even deeper than usual. It sends a shiver down Kyungsoo's spine. And, like an idiot, he listens.

Kyungsoo stops by the edge of the bed, standing and waiting for him to do something, to give another instruction. He watches Chanyeol's own hand drag across his body, eyes following as his nails scrape across his chest, nails catching on his nipple. All of a sudden, Chanyeol, with his freakishly long arms, grabs him by the neck and pulls him down to shove his tongue in his mouth. Kyungsoo is only shocked for a moment before he finds himself doing the same.

Behind him, Baekhyun starts to strip him of his clothes, and he lets him. They both manage to maneuver Kyungsoo to lie on the bed. Chanyeol's lips never leave his mouth, and Baekhyun's hands never leave his body.

Somewhere to the side, Kyungsoo hears a small noise, a flip of a cap. Soon there are slick fingers pressing in between his legs, but they're not long and nimble like Baekhyun's, and he finds himself recoiling from the touch. Baekhyun's hands on his hips hold him down against the mattress to keep him from leaving.

"Please," he says, voice vibrating against Kyungsoo's ribcage. He rocks his hips against him, and Kyungsoo throws his head back and groans. "Please," Baekhyun says again, trailing kisses up to Kyungsoo's neck, then nudging Chanyeol away gently to take his place against Kyungsoo's mouth. "Please." Kyungsoo makes a quiet murmur of assent and nods, if only to keep Baekhyun's lips attached to his.

Chanyeol's fingers feel weird inside him. They're not thin like Baekhyun's, nor are they are they as smooth, tips marred with calluses. Guitarist's hands, tearing groans from Kyungsoo's throat as they drag against his insides. Chanyeol preps him quickly, too quickly. Kyungsoo lets out a whine when the fingers leave him.

"Turn," Chanyeol says roughly. "Turn around."

With a bit of assistance from the two pairs of hands on his hips, he flips onto his stomach and rises onto his hands and knees. Baekhyun now lies underneath him.

"Are you ready," he asks, gently smoothing his hands up and down Kyungsoo's sides.

Kyungsoo gives a terse nod, and then Chanyeol is thrusting into him all in one stroke, and he burns going in. He's bigger than Baekhyun and the stretch is too much. Kyungsoo can feel tears pooling in the corner of his eyes as he cries out at the sensation.

"Shhh," Baekhyun murmurs soothingly, leaning up to capture Kyungsoo's lips, "loosen up. You're too tense."

Kyungsoo tries his best, really, until Baekhyun's fingers come to curl around his cock, which just has him clenching around Chanyeol. Chanyeol groans and his hands tighten enough around Kyungsoo's hips that he knows he'll see bruises there the next day. But then Kyungsoo finds himself thrusting into Baekhyun's hand, and in turn, rocking back onto Chanyeol's cock. "Okay," he says, just loud enough for Chanyeol to hear.

Chanyeol leans down to mouth at the back of Kyungsoo's neck, then snaps his hips forward, pulling a gasp and a moan from his throat. He sets a quick, almost brutal pace, fucking Kyungsoo harder than Baekhyun ever had before. With Baekhyun pushing his hips up and stroking them both simultaneously and Chanyeol constantly pressing against that spot inside of him, Kyungsoo can't stop the noises from leaving his mouth.

Baekhyun's hand suddenly tightens around him and he starts to move it faster, causing Kyungsoo to gasp. "Come for me," he hisses, and Kyungsoo does, letting out a long groan as he spills in between their bodies. Baekhyun follows not one second afterward, smiling up at Kyungsoo after his body has stopped trembling. Then he lifts himself up on his elbows and leans forward to drag Chanyeol into a kiss, and he comes without a warning inside Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol pulls out and lets him collapse on top of Baekhyun. Baekhyun tangles his arms and legs and fingers with Kyungsoo's, whispering praise against his mouth. "You were so good. So good." But Kyungsoo ignores him, only able to think about the stickiness in between his legs.

Chanyeol falls asleep quickly after they clean themselves off, but Kyungsoo lies awake with Baekhyun a bit longer. "Hey," he says, lightly stroking his fingers against Baekhyun's chest to get his attention.


Kyungsoo takes a deep breath before he speaks again. "Come back with me."

Baekhyun makes a confused noise. "What do you mean," he asks, propping his head up against his arm. He looks down at Kyungsoo curiously.

Kyungsoo feels a lump growing in his throat and his voice starts to tremble. "When our time is up, don't... Don't go. Just come back with me. Let's go back together."

Baekhyun suddenly squirms away from his touch, and Kyungsoo gasps, hands following after him, but then recoils at the incredulous look Baekhyun gives him, clenching his fists and returning them to his sides. "Why are you saying this?"

"I just don't want this to end."

"Okay, but what about Chanyeol?"

"No," Kyungsoo cries out too loudly. Chanyeol stirs behind them, and they both whip around to face him, but he just curls up further into a ball and falls back asleep facing the wall.

"Look," Baekhyun says softly, so as to not disturb him again, and he's looking at Kyungsoo wit pity, but he doesn't want his pity. He just wants him. "I care about you both."

Kyungsoo shakes his head. "No," he says again. "I saw you first. I was here first. I want to be with you only. Please, Baekhyun."

Baekhyun turns away from Kyungsoo, keeping his eyes fixed on the ceiling. "Kyungsoo, I..."

But before he can carry on, Kyungsoo kicks off the covers and runs out of the room, so that no one can see his tears.

The next day Chanyeol is nowhere to be found. They ask around the old beach town, but no one knows a thing, until they meet a young boy named Sehun who tells him he saw a tall, curly-headed boy jump off a cliff early that morning.

Baekhyun clamps a hand over his mouth and buries his face in Kyungsoo's neck. Kyungsoo thanks the boy before turning and leading them both back to their villa.

They lie tangled together on the couch where Kyungsoo holds Baekhyun until he loses his voice from sobbing. Later he coaxes Baekhyun into the shower, claiming it will make him feel better. Kyungsoo doesn't mean anything by it, but he doesn't turn Baekhyun down when he sinks to his knees and sucks him off, scalding hot water beating at their backs.

Baekhyun sits on the sand at the beach, arms curled around his legs. He stares at the waves lapping against the shore.

"Have you decided yet," Kyungsoo asks.

Baekhyun simple turns to stare at him with red-rimmed eyes, then turns back. He doesn't say a word.

Kyungsoo sighs and walk away.

When Kyungsoo doesn't return after two days, Baekhyun cries even harder.

It seems that Baekhyun spends the rest of his days sitting on the beach because that's where he hears that question again.

"Hey, have you decided yet?"

He spins around eagerly, only to let out a deflated noise when it's not Kyungsoo. Instead, it's a handsome boy with tanned skin and the prettiest smile he's ever seen. His name is Jongin. He wears all white.

Baekhyun takes a deep breath and holds it in his lungs for a really long time. Everything seems like a long time here. In just the span of a few days, he has managed to fall in love and grieve at its loss.

Jongin repeats his question, impatient this time.

"I-I think so," Baekhyun answers.

"Well, come on then," says Jongin, holding a hand out to haul Baekhyun to his feet. "I'm running on a tight schedule here."

Kyungsoo is bored. He'd already tried flirting with the nurses, but they just wouldn't let him leave his room without his parents coming to see him. So he trudges over to the window and peers behind the curtains. It's sunny outside, and when he looks down, he can see the park, full of bright colored flowers and trees.

There's a rustling behind Kyungsoo and a small high-pitched noise that sounds almost puppy-like.

Ah, his roommate.

He stares out the window a while longer before spinning around, grinning widely. Then he clears his throat. "Hey, I was wondering when you'd wake up."
Tags: postings, summer 2012
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